My entire life has been lived with the most incredible soundtrack running alongside it. From growing up, to falling in love (albeit from afar), to turning 22, knowing things all too well, and wanting karma - Taylor Swift and her lyricism has been one of the only constants throughout my teenage years and twenties.
Having loved Taylor Swift since belting out Love Story when I was barely a teenager, I first became properly invested with her music 10 years ago in 2012 when her album Red came out. Falling in love with the entire album, every lyric, every song, every hidden message and the feelings that Taylor wrote and sung about - Red was something of an awakening for me.
I was 15 when Red came out and ever since that age, I have been besotted with the idea of falling in love, getting my heartbroken and romanticising my life. It started with We Are Never Getting Back Together - a track I first heard when I was on a cruise with my nan. At the time I was weeks away from turning 15 and had the biggest most excruciatingly painful crush on this boy I kept seeing around the ship. I felt as though I had fallen head over heals in love for this boy I knew nothing about. Having never uttered a word to him, I felt like we were in some kind of relationship. Getting a waiter to pass him a note with my Facebook URL on it, my cheeks turned red (ironically) when I saw him open up the note that read "I think you're cute, add me on Facebook". A few days after that it was time to go home and I sat in anticipation while constantly refreshing my iPod touch. He did add me, but he was older than me and lived in Manchester and looking back, I was a bit of a pest. Suffice to say, he stopped messaging me and I thought as though I was going through my first ever breakup and We Are Never Getting Back Together was the soundtrack to my sassy recovery (but not before I cried myself to sleep listening to Teardrops On My Guitar and The Story of Us... yes, really).
A few months after the cruise debacle, I was moving area and now the entire Red album was officially out All Too Well was the soundtrack to my next chapter. Leaving behind a boy I had crushed on for around three years, I was heartbroken and truly believed I felt like a crumpled up piece of paper lying there. But, thanks to Holy Ground and Change, I was able to listen to the self-titled Red track and imagine myself falling in love, for real, for the very first time. About to start a new school, I thought this would happen but it didn't and I was back to square one.
A year later (yes, I've had an awful lot of crushes), I found myself listening to Sparks Fly because of this one boy in my new class. Falling for his smile, his laugh and his ways, I couldn't help but imagine how amazing we would be together. I'd Lie (an unreleased Taylor track for those who don't know) fast become the soundtrack to my 18th year.... "I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine". I'd also listen to Last Kiss when I wanted to feel something other than mushy feelings, or when it felt like he'd never look at me the way I looked at him (spoiler: he never did... I think...). Suffice to say, the entirety of Speak Now and Red were the main albums I associate with this chapter, as well as Tim McGraw from debut - heady feelings, thinking love was everything, admiring from afar and feeling broken. This continued for two years (hence my own song Two Years).
I then went to university and Reputation came out. Perfectly timed if you ask me. Thinking that I was on the verge of something with somebody and almost ruining something else in the process, Getaway Car left me reeling, while New Years Day had me wanting to fall in love desperately and Delicate left me imagining something beautiful and sacred, despite having anxiety to even admit it, "Is it cool that I said all that? // Is it chill that you're in my head? //'Cause I know that it's delicate". Look What You Made Me Do then became the soundtrack for the beginning of 2018 when everything went down the pan.
Recovering from the heartache of never having felt real love left me rediscovering Taylor's debut album, while listening to and healing with The Outside and A Perfectly Good Heart, as well as Change from Fearless. And then a year or so later, Lover came out, which left like a breath of fresh air - enabling me to love myself and look to the future. The title album track, Lover, left me wishing for a true love, while Cornelia Street left me yearning for it. Death By A Thousand Cuts made me contemplate past crushes and almost-romances, while Daylight helped me look to the future. Lover accompanied me as I moved to the capital city, which left me dreaming of my London Boy, and then the pandemic came and I thought it would be Nice To Have A Friend.
Months indoors left me romanticising everything and longing for true love and then Folklore came out. Supporting me through my darkest months, The 1 allowed me to accept my past crushes for what they were, while The Last Great American Dynasty enabled me to imagine something grand and different from romance. Months later Evermore came out and carried me through the winter like a warm scarf, with Gold Rush, Willow, 'Tis The Damn Season and Right Where You Left Me allowing me to envision love and heartbreak all over again.
And then Fearless TV and Red TV came out and I was thrown back to past almosts and crushes. The All Too Well 10 minute version has carried me through the past 12 months, which now brings us to Midnights.
Midnights is a lyrical masterpiece - like so much of Taylor's work. Sweet Nothings leaves me wanting a love like what she and Joe Alwyn have, while Midnight Rain makes me want to be the one breaking someone else's heart for a change, and Lavender Haze makes me want to feel that kind of heady romance. Not to mention Paris making me feel like love would be the most incredible thing to experience, and the bonus track Hits Different drudging up memories of all of my almosts, crushes and nevers... still hoping that one of them might come to fruition one day.
Every Taylor Swift song in existence has allowed me to apply my own experiences to it, albeit not very exciting or real. But most of all, her songs have allowed me to experience emotions that I'd never have been exposed to. Being a chronically single 25-year-old who has never kissed anybody let alone got close to being in a relationship, means my exposure to romance or heartbreak have been limited - unless you count unrequited love or failed crushes.
One day I'm sure I'll fall in love and experience the feelings of Ours, Sweet Nothings, Lover, Red and Mastermind, but for now I'll continue to live vicariously through those songs while crying to Labyrinth, All Too Well and Last Kiss as I apply my own measly experiences to them.
Outfit details:
Co-ord from Primark
Beret from Accessorize
Tights from M&S
Boots from Primark
Bag from Karl Lagerfeld
I've Lived My *Non-Existent* Love Life Vicariously Through Taylor Swift Songs
Wednesday, 2 November 2022 • Personal
My entire life has been lived with the most incredible soundtrack running alongside it. From growing up, to falling in love (albeit from afar), to turning 22, knowing things all too well, and wanting karma - Taylor Swift and her lyricism has been one of the only constants throughout my teenage years and twenties.
Having loved Taylor Swift since belting out Love Story when I was barely a teenager, I first became properly invested with her music 10 years ago in 2012 when her album Red came out. Falling in love with the entire album, every lyric, every song, every hidden message and the feelings that Taylor wrote and sung about - Red was something of an awakening for me.
I was 15 when Red came out and ever since that age, I have been besotted with the idea of falling in love, getting my heartbroken and romanticising my life. It started with We Are Never Getting Back Together - a track I first heard when I was on a cruise with my nan. At the time I was weeks away from turning 15 and had the biggest most excruciatingly painful crush on this boy I kept seeing around the ship. I felt as though I had fallen head over heals in love for this boy I knew nothing about. Having never uttered a word to him, I felt like we were in some kind of relationship. Getting a waiter to pass him a note with my Facebook URL on it, my cheeks turned red (ironically) when I saw him open up the note that read "I think you're cute, add me on Facebook". A few days after that it was time to go home and I sat in anticipation while constantly refreshing my iPod touch. He did add me, but he was older than me and lived in Manchester and looking back, I was a bit of a pest. Suffice to say, he stopped messaging me and I thought as though I was going through my first ever breakup and We Are Never Getting Back Together was the soundtrack to my sassy recovery (but not before I cried myself to sleep listening to Teardrops On My Guitar and The Story of Us... yes, really).
A few months after the cruise debacle, I was moving area and now the entire Red album was officially out All Too Well was the soundtrack to my next chapter. Leaving behind a boy I had crushed on for around three years, I was heartbroken and truly believed I felt like a crumpled up piece of paper lying there. But, thanks to Holy Ground and Change, I was able to listen to the self-titled Red track and imagine myself falling in love, for real, for the very first time. About to start a new school, I thought this would happen but it didn't and I was back to square one.
A year later (yes, I've had an awful lot of crushes), I found myself listening to Sparks Fly because of this one boy in my new class. Falling for his smile, his laugh and his ways, I couldn't help but imagine how amazing we would be together. I'd Lie (an unreleased Taylor track for those who don't know) fast become the soundtrack to my 18th year.... "I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine". I'd also listen to Last Kiss when I wanted to feel something other than mushy feelings, or when it felt like he'd never look at me the way I looked at him (spoiler: he never did... I think...). Suffice to say, the entirety of Speak Now and Red were the main albums I associate with this chapter, as well as Tim McGraw from debut - heady feelings, thinking love was everything, admiring from afar and feeling broken. This continued for two years (hence my own song Two Years).
I then went to university and Reputation came out. Perfectly timed if you ask me. Thinking that I was on the verge of something with somebody and almost ruining something else in the process, Getaway Car left me reeling, while New Years Day had me wanting to fall in love desperately and Delicate left me imagining something beautiful and sacred, despite having anxiety to even admit it, "Is it cool that I said all that? // Is it chill that you're in my head? //'Cause I know that it's delicate". Look What You Made Me Do then became the soundtrack for the beginning of 2018 when everything went down the pan.
Recovering from the heartache of never having felt real love left me rediscovering Taylor's debut album, while listening to and healing with The Outside and A Perfectly Good Heart, as well as Change from Fearless. And then a year or so later, Lover came out, which left like a breath of fresh air - enabling me to love myself and look to the future. The title album track, Lover, left me wishing for a true love, while Cornelia Street left me yearning for it. Death By A Thousand Cuts made me contemplate past crushes and almost-romances, while Daylight helped me look to the future. Lover accompanied me as I moved to the capital city, which left me dreaming of my London Boy, and then the pandemic came and I thought it would be Nice To Have A Friend.
Months indoors left me romanticising everything and longing for true love and then Folklore came out. Supporting me through my darkest months, The 1 allowed me to accept my past crushes for what they were, while The Last Great American Dynasty enabled me to imagine something grand and different from romance. Months later Evermore came out and carried me through the winter like a warm scarf, with Gold Rush, Willow, 'Tis The Damn Season and Right Where You Left Me allowing me to envision love and heartbreak all over again.
And then Fearless TV and Red TV came out and I was thrown back to past almosts and crushes. The All Too Well 10 minute version has carried me through the past 12 months, which now brings us to Midnights.
Midnights is a lyrical masterpiece - like so much of Taylor's work. Sweet Nothings leaves me wanting a love like what she and Joe Alwyn have, while Midnight Rain makes me want to be the one breaking someone else's heart for a change, and Lavender Haze makes me want to feel that kind of heady romance. Not to mention Paris making me feel like love would be the most incredible thing to experience, and the bonus track Hits Different drudging up memories of all of my almosts, crushes and nevers... still hoping that one of them might come to fruition one day.
Every Taylor Swift song in existence has allowed me to apply my own experiences to it, albeit not very exciting or real. But most of all, her songs have allowed me to experience emotions that I'd never have been exposed to. Being a chronically single 25-year-old who has never kissed anybody let alone got close to being in a relationship, means my exposure to romance or heartbreak have been limited - unless you count unrequited love or failed crushes.
One day I'm sure I'll fall in love and experience the feelings of Ours, Sweet Nothings, Lover, Red and Mastermind, but for now I'll continue to live vicariously through those songs while crying to Labyrinth, All Too Well and Last Kiss as I apply my own measly experiences to them.
Outfit details:
Co-ord from Primark
Beret from Accessorize
Tights from M&S
Boots from Primark
Bag from Karl Lagerfeld
I feel as though I lived more unapologetically, more carefree and yet had it all planned out - but now I'm approaching my late twenties and... well, it just all feels a bit much. I can't even decide what colour to get my hair done next week and it feels as though I'm going through some kind of huge shift.
Pre-pandemic Mollie was 22, had just moved to London and had huge plans for a fresh start. I had work placements for glossy magazines lined up and I was completely convinced that I would fall in love with 'the one' within a matter of months. By now shouldn't I be in love and on-track to moving in with said beau? Shouldn't I have a firm five-year life plan?
Happy, free, confused. and lonely in the best way - 22 was meant to be my most bright and beautiful year where I'd lay the foundations for my life, but instead it was filled with staying indoors like the rest of the world and resitting my final year of university due to poor mental health.
I'm not too sure whether it's the pandemic's doing or if being in your mid-twenties generally feels like this, but it feels like I've lost out, missed out, and had a chunk of my twenties ripped away from me.
I'm now 25 and it feels like I'm running out of time to fall in love, make friends and have fun. Obviously this is stupid because I have SO much life ahead of me - but because everything seems to have happened so fast yet slow, it feels as though I'm ancient and falling behind.
Hell, I've never even kissed anyone. Nor have I been to a club. And I'm socially awkward for f*ck's sake. Half the people I know that are my age have three kids, or are engaged, or married, or own their own home - or have done all four and bought the t-shirt in the process.
But then I remember that I'm pretty successful, and the younger me would be so very proud of the lovely life she has made for herself - even though she might still be a total hopeless-romantic-verging-on-spinster.
Little me, teenage me and 22-year-old me would be so amazed at everything - and that's why I need to remind myself that I'm doing just fine. More than fine actually. I'm kind of bossing life.
I've got a First-Class Honours Degree in Journalism and a PGCert in Digital Media, Culture and Society; I work for a national newspaper; I have written for the publications I once glued the mastheads of to my vision board; I live in the capital city; and all in all, I'm very blessed to have my life.
And the main thing? I'm happy – like really happy. Sure, I take antidepressants, am still socially awkward, a bit anxious sometimes and moody some of the time and overthink a bit too much - but honestly? My life is incredible and I am so grateful.
I honestly don't miss my 'old life' at all... so why do I miss the old me?
Maybe it's time to bring a bit of the old Mollie's sass back... Oh, and is it time to channel Taylor Swift yet too? The old Mollie can't come to the phone because she's dead – and the new one is actually better.
I think it's safe to say that the old me would be proud of herself now.
Are you in your twenties? Do you feel like you're going through an identity crisis? Like you've accidentally hit fast-forward on your life's remote control? Let me know in the comments section below.
I feel as though I lived more unapologetically, more carefree and yet had it all planned out - but now I'm approaching my late twenties and... well, it just all feels a bit much. I can't even decide what colour to get my hair done next week and it feels as though I'm going through some kind of huge shift.
Pre-pandemic Mollie was 22, had just moved to London and had huge plans for a fresh start. I had work placements for glossy magazines lined up and I was completely convinced that I would fall in love with 'the one' within a matter of months. By now shouldn't I be in love and on-track to moving in with said beau? Shouldn't I have a firm five-year life plan?
Happy, free, confused. and lonely in the best way - 22 was meant to be my most bright and beautiful year where I'd lay the foundations for my life, but instead it was filled with staying indoors like the rest of the world and resitting my final year of university due to poor mental health.
I'm not too sure whether it's the pandemic's doing or if being in your mid-twenties generally feels like this, but it feels like I've lost out, missed out, and had a chunk of my twenties ripped away from me.
I'm now 25 and it feels like I'm running out of time to fall in love, make friends and have fun. Obviously this is stupid because I have SO much life ahead of me - but because everything seems to have happened so fast yet slow, it feels as though I'm ancient and falling behind.
Hell, I've never even kissed anyone. Nor have I been to a club. And I'm socially awkward for f*ck's sake. Half the people I know that are my age have three kids, or are engaged, or married, or own their own home - or have done all four and bought the t-shirt in the process.
But then I remember that I'm pretty successful, and the younger me would be so very proud of the lovely life she has made for herself - even though she might still be a total hopeless-romantic-verging-on-spinster.
Little me, teenage me and 22-year-old me would be so amazed at everything - and that's why I need to remind myself that I'm doing just fine. More than fine actually. I'm kind of bossing life.
I've got a First-Class Honours Degree in Journalism and a PGCert in Digital Media, Culture and Society; I work for a national newspaper; I have written for the publications I once glued the mastheads of to my vision board; I live in the capital city; and all in all, I'm very blessed to have my life.
And the main thing? I'm happy – like really happy. Sure, I take antidepressants, am still socially awkward, a bit anxious sometimes and moody some of the time and overthink a bit too much - but honestly? My life is incredible and I am so grateful.
I honestly don't miss my 'old life' at all... so why do I miss the old me?
Maybe it's time to bring a bit of the old Mollie's sass back... Oh, and is it time to channel Taylor Swift yet too? The old Mollie can't come to the phone because she's dead – and the new one is actually better.
I think it's safe to say that the old me would be proud of herself now.
Are you in your twenties? Do you feel like you're going through an identity crisis? Like you've accidentally hit fast-forward on your life's remote control? Let me know in the comments section below.
It really has. I can't believe the last time I wrote on here was around the time of the late Queen's Platinum Jubilee. Since then so much has changed - nationally, globally, and personally too. In fact, I just realised I never documented my birthday on here - something I've done for years upon years. So yeah, I'm 25 now - a quarter of a century - and so so much has altered in my life.
I was thinking the other day about how much I miss writing silly little blog posts for my silly little blog. I miss writing, rambling and talking endlessly about fashion, beauty and everything in between. And that's when I made a vow to myself to begin again.
An integral part of my life, blogging has been with me and a huge part of my identity since 2013 - meaning this website has existed for nine years this December. From my first blog post which was a literal sentence, to the essays I've written before branching out into my freelance career - this corner of the internet will forever remain my safe haven, and I want to make it yours too.
I'm hoping to make a bit of a blogging comeback if you will. I'm not going to vow to any silly schedule like I have done in the past, although once a week might be a good start. So hopefully I can stick to it. One blog post. Every week.
Whether it's a hot take on something, a moan about the mercury retrograde or the moon (I have so much to say about the past month, but we move), a fangirl moment about Taylor Swift or a plus-size fashion styling guide (I'm hoping to be my fabulous fashionable self on here once again... the 'gram just isn't the same) - I'm coming back baby!
So, where have I been exactly?
Well, you (and I) need to remember that this blog started up in 2013 - when I was experiencing health issues and wasn't in school. Since then I've done my GCSEs at college, progressed onto university, graduated with a degree, went back and then studied for an MA certificate. And now I'm a fully fledged journalist with a over a year's worth of freelancing under my belt and a fixed term contract at a national newspaper.
You could say life has been hectic, busy, and totally manic - but rest assured, so amazing too.
Feeling blessed and humbled by life, I feel bringing back the blog at the start of autumn 2022 is a milestone moment and one I have to embrace.
All I have to say is brace yourself... and let's hope I can make the epic return to blogging I so want to.
It really has. I can't believe the last time I wrote on here was around the time of the late Queen's Platinum Jubilee. Since then so much has changed - nationally, globally, and personally too. In fact, I just realised I never documented my birthday on here - something I've done for years upon years. So yeah, I'm 25 now - a quarter of a century - and so so much has altered in my life.
I was thinking the other day about how much I miss writing silly little blog posts for my silly little blog. I miss writing, rambling and talking endlessly about fashion, beauty and everything in between. And that's when I made a vow to myself to begin again.
An integral part of my life, blogging has been with me and a huge part of my identity since 2013 - meaning this website has existed for nine years this December. From my first blog post which was a literal sentence, to the essays I've written before branching out into my freelance career - this corner of the internet will forever remain my safe haven, and I want to make it yours too.
I'm hoping to make a bit of a blogging comeback if you will. I'm not going to vow to any silly schedule like I have done in the past, although once a week might be a good start. So hopefully I can stick to it. One blog post. Every week.
Whether it's a hot take on something, a moan about the mercury retrograde or the moon (I have so much to say about the past month, but we move), a fangirl moment about Taylor Swift or a plus-size fashion styling guide (I'm hoping to be my fabulous fashionable self on here once again... the 'gram just isn't the same) - I'm coming back baby!
So, where have I been exactly?
Well, you (and I) need to remember that this blog started up in 2013 - when I was experiencing health issues and wasn't in school. Since then I've done my GCSEs at college, progressed onto university, graduated with a degree, went back and then studied for an MA certificate. And now I'm a fully fledged journalist with a over a year's worth of freelancing under my belt and a fixed term contract at a national newspaper.
You could say life has been hectic, busy, and totally manic - but rest assured, so amazing too.
Feeling blessed and humbled by life, I feel bringing back the blog at the start of autumn 2022 is a milestone moment and one I have to embrace.
All I have to say is brace yourself... and let's hope I can make the epic return to blogging I so want to.
[ad-pr – dress and shoes were gifted]
The Jubilee bank holiday weekend was a very monumental four days for the United Kingdom. As a 24-year-old zillennial growing up in the UK, I'm not really supposed to be a fan of the Royal family – a large chunk of my generation despises them – but personally, I am a huge fan.
Hosting A Jubilee Party To Remember, And Celebrating 70 Years Of Her Majesty
Sunday, 5 June 2022 • Plus Size Fashion, Royal Family
[ad-pr – dress and shoes were gifted]
The Jubilee bank holiday weekend was a very monumental four days for the United Kingdom. As a 24-year-old zillennial growing up in the UK, I'm not really supposed to be a fan of the Royal family – a large chunk of my generation despises them – but personally, I am a huge fan.
Exploring London: Coppa Club Putney – The Chicest Place For Ladies Who Lunch
Saturday, 23 April 2022 • Exploring London, Food
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